Some of us had supportive and powerful influences while others were riddle with abusive words that told us what we would never be or what we could never become.  Is there any hope for those of us caught in a paradigm of negative thinking?  The answer comes in the last lines of the poem “Invictus” by Ernest Henley:

“It matters not how straight the gate,

How charged with punishment the scrolls,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.”

You are only a victim of the past if you choose to be a victim.  You are in control if you are determined to live a positive and fulfilling existence.  Just as words helped shape us, words can help us live a productive and successful life. There is a simple formula that applies to all things; what you put into something is what you get out of that same endeavor.  If you spend hours tilling the soil, planting seeds, watering, and pulling weeds, you will have a beautiful and productive garden.  If you work out daily, eat the right foods, and drink water you will become extremely fit.  Think of the words you process in your mind as planting and tending that garden or maintaining a good fitness routine.

If your thoughts are negative, or worse, destructive you are also planting seeds that sprout into lack of confidence, negative actions, and even self destruction.  “I’m not good enough,” “why is everyone else better than me?,”  “Why can’t I do anything right?” are all examples of destructive thought patterns.  James Allen an 1800s author wrote the motivational book, “As a Man Thinketh.”  He says,

“Man is made or unmade by himself.  In the armory of thought he fashions the weapons with which he destroys himself.  He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy, strength, and peace.”

The message is simple, controlling your thoughts and words are the first steps to controlling your life.  It is the simple process of “sowing and reaping.”

“Sow a thought,

Reap an idea.

Sow an idea,

Reap an action.

Sow an action,

Reap a result.

Sow a Result,

Reap your destiny.”

James Allen also went on to write:

“Of all the beautiful truths pertaining to the soul, none is more fruitful of divine promise and confidence than this, that man is the master of fate, the molder of character, the maker and shaper of condition, environment, and destiny.”

There is no time like this very moment to change your life through changing your thought patterns.  Believe in the power of your own mind and there is no limit to what you can and will achieve.

Where do you start?  How can you start living life to the fullest?  It starts with a simple evaluation.  Where are you now and where do you want to be?  Think of it as a starting line in a race and a finish line.  The further away the finish line, the more planning and patience necessary to reach our dreams, to live life to the fullest!  Unfortunately, we often wake up in the morning with no plan and little awareness of anything other than “getting through the day.”  Is it any wonder that most people are only “breaking even” each day?

Try this tonight, write out two things that will help you reach a dream and begin living large.  Once you have written these two things down, decide the actions you will have to take tomorrow to get closer to the life you want.  An example would be if you wanted to complete your college education.  Two “steps” you might take tomorrow would be to go online, fill out an application for admission and call an academic counselor to discuss options such as night school or weekend programs.  “But Ken, I have kids, a job, and I am a single parent?”  Well, you are just going to have to work a little harder than the average person, but then, you are not average if you have the courage and are responsible enough to handle all these important duties!  The interesting thing is just by taking two action steps it starts a chain reaction.  If you will continue two actions every day, just two, amazing things can happen!

Accomplishing anything in this world is really all about the patience and persistence to take small actions on a regular basis that lead to “large” results!  Getting excited yet?  I often tell my coaching clients life is a “to do” list.  Unfortunately, most people’s “to do” list is filled with “stuff” and not goal related activities that lead to our greatest dreams.  “Stuff” is the things we feel like we have to do.  Finishing reports, returning phone calls, solving crisis situations and meetings are all things we have to do daily, but most do not help us reach our personal goals.  When we add just two things to that list that are focused on reaching dreams, the list suddenly takes on a new life, almost an excitement!

Is the timing not right?  I often hear this.  “When I finish a certain report or when the kids graduate or when I get that promotion, then I’ll focus on my dreams!”  Henry James said, “The right time is any time that one is still so lucky as to have.”  James meant the right time is now when you still have time, when you still have this day, not tomorrow, not next week, next month or next year, right now!  Excuses are things we create to avoid failure.  Some excuses are legitimate in that they are real and exist, but the successful people in life understand this and take action regardless.

Life rewards us in direct proportion to our contributions.  Make no contributions to your dreams and there is no reward.  Your life is a bank account and we have the opportunity every day to make deposits and withdrawals.  Deposits are every positive action we take and withdrawals are “doing nothing,” letting the world pass us by until one day we wake up and wonder, “where did the time go?”  Do not let this be you.  Live to win!

Henry James, the American novelist said, “Live all you can, it is a mistake not to.” It seems most of the regrets of life come at the end when there is little time left to “live large.” If your life is filled with “should have’s, would have’s, might have’s, and could have’s,” maybe it is time to re-evaluate your current position in life. The beauty of life is this; everyone can live large!

Where do you start? How can you start living life to the fullest? It starts with a simple evaluation. Where are you now and where do you want to be? Think of it as a starting line in a race and a finish line. The further away the finish line, the more planning and patience necessary to reach our dreams, to live life to the fullest! Unfortunately, we often wake up in the morning with no plan and little awareness of anything other than “getting through the day.” Is it any wonder that most people are only “breaking even” each day?

Try this tonight, write out two things that will help you reach a dream and begin living large. Once you have written these two things down, decide the actions you will have to take tomorrow to get closer to the life you want. An example would be if you wanted to complete your college education. Two “steps” you might take tomorrow would be to go online, fill out an application for admission and call an academic counselor to discuss options such as night school or weekend programs. “But Ken, I have kids, a job, and I am a single parent?” Well, you are just going to have to work a little harder than the average person, but then, you are not average if you have the courage and are responsible enough to handle all these important duties! The interesting thing is just by taking two action steps it starts a chain reaction. If you will continue two actions every day, just two, amazing things can happen!

Accomplishing anything in this world is really all about the patience and persistence to take small actions on a regular basis that lead to “large” results! Getting excited yet? I often tell my coaching clients life is a “to do” list. Unfortunately, most people’s “to do” list is filled with “stuff” and not goal related activities that lead to our greatest dreams. “Stuff” is the things we feel like we have to do. Finishing reports, returning phone calls, solving crisis situations and meetings are all things we have to do daily, but most do not help us reach our personal goals. When we add just two things to that list that are focused on reaching dreams, the list suddenly takes on a new life, almost an excitement!

Is the timing not right? I often hear this. “When I finish a certain report or when the kids graduate or when I get that promotion, then I’ll focus on my dreams!” Henry James said, “The right time is any time that one is still so lucky as to have.” James meant the right time is now when you still have time, when you still have this day, not tomorrow, not next week, next month or next year, right now! Excuses are things we create to avoid failure. Some excuses are legitimate in that they are real and exist, but the successful people in life understand this and take action regardless.

Life rewards us in direct proportion to our contributions. Make no contributions to your dreams and there is no reward. Your life is a bank account and we have the opportunity every day to make deposits and withdrawals. Deposits are every positive action we take and withdrawals are “doing nothing,” letting the world pass us by until one day we wake up and wonder, “where did the time go?” Do not let this be you. Live to win!

One of my coaching clients and new friend, Michael Curmi relates this one thing to a song by the Eagles.  In the song, “The Hotel California” there is a particular lyric that goes “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.” Michael’s interpretation of this song is people check out of life when they stop having a passion for life and put their lives on “automatic pilot.”  They have “checked out” but still function waiting for the next event or the next day.  The unfortunate thing and also the wonderful hope is we can check back in!

What is “the one thing?”  Victor Frankl the famed psychiatrist put it best in his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Frankl was a prisoner in the Nazi concentration camps of World War II. He had been separated from his family with little hope of ever seeing them again.  The conditions brought him near death and he saw those around him marched to the gas chambers. His driving force was “the one thing.” In Frankl’s situation he had a burning desire to do two things, be reunited with his family and to disprove a theory by the founder of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud. Freud theorized that if you strip away every thing that makes us human, our identity, family, our hope, we will revert to an animalistic state.  Frankl refused to believe this theory.  He believed that there was a power within each person to want to help and make a difference and he saw it throughout the camps.  The most powerful statement in the book was “When everything is taken away from us, the one thing we can control is our attitude in any given circumstance.”

What is the “the one thing?” It is your ability to choose how you will react to the failures and difficulties in life.  You can blame them on others, on luck, or destiny but in truth it really does not matter.  You can control the outcome by never “checking out.” We are all a part of this life, a part or our company, our family but we can only reach the heights of success by believing in our ability to contribute, to make a difference.  If you were passed over for a promotion, demoted, divorced or faced uncontrollable circumstances you still had the ability to believe in your own future and to be the architect of your own life.

Michael thanks for the wake up call!  Welcome to the Hotel California but in real life you can check back in and live the life you dream, the life you deserve.  You are the master of your fate through taking responsibility for your life and working to be the best!

Exceptional value starts with your value proposition. The greatest secret to most sales people is that this exceptional value changes with every prospect whether Realtor or consumer. How do you discover what is most valuable to the prospect? You do it with “exceptional questioning skills,” These are simple questions but using them creates powerful and positive results. We can fit these questions into specific categories. Let’s take a closer look.

Category one: Get to know the prospects past experience with the mortgage process and if he or she has ever dealt with your company. Example: “Mr. Smith when was the last time you went through the mortgage process?” “What did you like most and least about that experience?” This question alone gains a wealth of information. It tells me what he or she liked and disliked. This is the first step in creating a value proposition. It is now easy for you to say, “Mr. Smith you mentioned you seldom heard from your loan officer during the mortgage process. How would you like me to communicate with you in a way that will give you the best comfort level?” You just created your first “value proposition!”

Category two: Ask questions that uncover present expectations. Example: “Mary, when you decide to form a partnership with a loan officer what is most important to you in making the relationship a successful partnership?” What the Realtor tells you begins to form your value proposition for Mary! To often the loan officer tells Mary what he or she can do without regard for what Mary values the most. The simple but amazing thing about sales is people will teach you how to sell to them if you will just stop talking and start listening.

Category three: Ask questions that create a need for what you do best. If you asked the prospect enough category one and two questions, you gained a wealth of information on what is most important to this person. Once you uncover the person’s greatest needs do not make the mistake that 99% of all loan officers make by “telling them what you can do.” Instead create questions that force the prospect to describe or ask for your product or service. Example: “Mary, you mentioned that one of your biggest needs was increasing the number of referrals you get from each of your real estate clients, is that correct?” (she said it you didn’t!) “Mary, would it be of value to you to have a proven system that not only gains you more referrals but can be measured and tracked?” I do not have to tell you Mary’s answer! “Mary could I share with you the details on how, together, we could accomplish this?”

Start today, creating a unique “value proposition” for every prospect! Remember there are only two things that people buy, exceptional value and solutions to problems. Stop fighting with the crowd on rate or product and start providing what the prospect really wants, but you will never know until you stop talking and start asking!

If you have a meeting with a Realtor and start talking about all the wonderful things you can do for them you are dead before you start unless you have the greatest advantage in the of the mortgage business which is unlikely!  Every person has a “hot button” whether it is personal or professional and you only uncover that hot button by following a very simple formula.  Here it is:

Step one:  Do your homework!  It’s likely you got this person’s name through a referral.  Ask your referral source the “hot button” questions:

 “What is the one thing that you think is most important to this person regarding his/her business?”

 “What does this person value most in his/her relationship with a loan officer?”

 “In his/her personal life, what’s most important to this person?”

 “Tell me one thing that you find most interesting about this person?”

Step two:  Now you can at least build questions around the hot buttons that you learned!  Suppose your referral source said they really value great service.  I would certainly bring testimonials with me that provided proof about my service, but I would also ask directed questions. Example:  “Mary, I know you build your business through satisfied clients and their referrals, what are some aspects of service that are most important to you from your mortgage relationship?  Notice how that question is worded.  It starts with a “statement of value, clients, and ends with a very direct service question.  Once you gain an answer, you can ask more questions such as, “Mary, I know all loan officers will tell you they give great service but how to they prove that to you?”  Most likely Mary will tell you they do not prove it.  This is when you provide your “hero letters.”

Step three:  Ask the Realtor questions he or she cannot answer.  I know, now you are confused!  What I mean is ask him/her a question that reflects your strength but that is very unlikely to be something that their current relationship provides.  “Mary, when you are working with a loan officer, what specific things does this person do to help you increase your referral base?”  That is a very safe question because even if he or she can answer it (they might say he or she gives me referrals), you will  redirect the question.  “Mary, that’s important and I also share referrals with my partners, but what I meant was how does the loan officer create new referrals?”  The answer will almost always be, “they don’t.”  At that point you can introduce the specific value you add.  What would that be?  In the next  blog, I will give you the secrets!  I know, you are thinking “Ken, come on I need to know!  Guess what?  I just created the “second appointment!”  That is what you will do on the sales call.  “Mary,  there are a number of ways I do this with my business partners, but I provide it in a detailed plan.  With your permission I would like to ask you some more questions about how you currently gain referrals and then I can build a proposal that fits your business.  Would that be okay?”  The Realtor will almost always say “yes.”  What you are doing is building a relationship over time and building trust.  Hey, I will see you at the next appointment/blog!

If you could choose any part in the “movie of your life,”  It should be the screen writer and the director!  Think about it, if you were allowed to write every scene of your life and then direct the outcome you would have a life that would truly be a blockbuster rags to riches story!  The reality is you do have this power!  Most people let the world control them as if they had no input.  From bad bosses to poor use of time they feel trapped but don’t have to be.  I was on an airplane five years ago and struck up a conversation with the gentleman next to me.  I always ask the same opening question on airplanes (writing my own script!), “Are you going home or leaving?”  The answer doesn’t matter.  If he/she says home, I ask questions about home.  If the person says they are leaving I ask about the final destination and what the person does for a living. This gentleman worked for a small technology company and when I asked him if he enjoyed the work he said yes.  Then came the blockbuster question that creates drama, excitement and a blockbuster life.  What’s your biggest dream regarding what you do.  He paused for a moment and replied, “My dream has always been to work for IBM!”  My reply was “why don’t you?” A number of excuses followed from “I don’t know anyone at IBM” to “I don’t know where to get started!”  For the next forty five minutes in flight I walked him through the basics of goal setting and “baby steps.”  Baby steps is dividing actions into small manageable steps. In his case the steps were to update his resume, do research on all the divisions of IBM, find out about their hiring practices, review his own strengths and weaknesses, and call for an introduction meeting (not an interview).

We parted ways and I gave him my card. I made a positive statement, “When you get the job with IBM call me so I can congratulate you!” Three months later, the call came.  He not only got the job but had very quickly been promoted based on his expertise and attitude!

Are you to busy playing the part of the beaten down supporting actor or actress? Are you satisfied having a minor role in your own movie?  Then it is time to start writing a blockbuster hit worthy of an academy award as not only best actor but best director and screen writer!  Writing your own script in life is simple and can be broken down into several steps:

Decide the outcome of your life movie. “Average guy aspires to greatness and through great adversity achieves his dreams!” What is it you truly want with all your heart and soul?  It is easier to reach great dreams than only average ones.  Why, the are not only inspirational but others will support us when the dream is awesome!  An average outcome is paying off debt, a great outcome is tripling your income!  An average outcome is more time with family.  A great, inspiring outcome is that trip to Hawaii for two weeks!  Deciding your outcome is nothing more than written goals with action steps attached.  These goals must be well written and worthy of a great movie.  Here is an average script:  “I will increase my income for 2010.”  Here is a great script: “I will double my income by working fewer hours smarter and focusing only on high yield prospects. If you want to increase your income, it will not be by working harder but by focusing on high yield activity.  You can call on twenty Realtors or find five that are top producers, the choice is yours!

Start directing your own movie instead of letting circumstance and chance be your directors.  This means taking massive, consistent, passionate, high yield action.  The person who is not directing their own life movie is checking emails every ten minutes, finding reasons to avoid important tasks like learning new technology and not making sales contacts or nurturing and growing new relationships. The man or woman who doubts his or her own abilities, who thinks he or she is doomed for failure or worse mediocrity will live off excuses and dreams that never were.  The Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw said “Some men see things as they are and say “why?,”  I dream of things that never were and say, why not?”

In this year’s loan officer newsletter I will be writing motivational articles of people who said “Why not?”  It is time to start being that director and screen writer who has the dream of not just an Oscar winning performance by the lead actor or actress (you!), but also the Oscar for Best Director and Best Script.  I can’t wait to see your movie!  Have a fabulous 2010 and always remember, “Live to Win!”

First, it is no secret that the easy money is gone forever.  No income verification loans, subprime loans for bad credit, and hybrid ARMs for easy qualifying have all but disappeared.  We are back to 1970s underwriting which means far fewer people can qualify.

Second, the last refinance boom was artificial in nature.  The US Treasury bought mortgage banked securities in mass and artificially lowered interest rates to levels not seen since the 1940s.  Millions took themselves out of the market for a very long time.

Third, this recession is different. When you add in the record high unemployment with a drastically sinking US Dollar it spells impending disaster for any hope of “free money.”  The US Government is attempting to use tax credits to support the housing market which is a temporary fix, but certainly not long term.

Fourth, the US Governments record spending is setting up the main ingredient for the perfect storm, inflation.  In inflationary times mortgage rates always rise.  Right now inflation is being held in check by low consumer spending, cheap imports from China, high unemployment and low housing values.  Our government has put us in a huge deficit that will ultimately create chaos in the financial system.  Does this mean rates will skyrocket?  No, but they will move out of any refinance range and we will be in a true purchase market.

Finally, fear still dominates the consumer, Realtors and us!  Fear can create inactivity and this will be the downfall of many loan officers as they wait out the market.  Unfortunately there is no bailout this time.  The loan officers who will survive and thrive are those with a plan that diversifies their business and actively seeks purchase business.  Most of our loan officer coaching clients are doing well, some even having a record year!  How?  They are actively seeking business by calling on Realtors, CPAs, corporations, military bases, financial planners, divorce attorneys, associations, hospitals and many more targets that would in past markets seem unconventional.  New ways to do the business through Internet programs and online social media have sparked new clients at a fast rate.

Where are you in your business model?  If you want to get back to high production and a lasting career, now is the time to take action.  Start following my blog at coachkentaylor/blog for the next few months.  Every few days I will have new ideas that can get you to the next level at no cost to you.  You will have many of the ideas our coaching clients have found very valuable but you have to take action!  Get started today and you can secure your future.  Do the same old things and you will be caught in the “perfect storm.”